   SPECIAL SECTION: Holiday Gift Guide Give a gift that keeps on being given! It used to be hard to find something special for Mom that you wanted but she didn't. No longer. In this special pull-out section, our advertisers have assembled a collection of goodies suited for the task. Perfect for whichever holiday is next. SPECIAL SECTION: Holiday Gift Guide Every year millions of people forget about Christmas, missing out on the seasonal cheer of family gatherings. If you are one of these, or if the merchandise you received was not satisfactory, you'll want to peruse our special advertiser section. Yule-tide joy in March is inappropriate, of course, so items are reduced by up to 20%.  Eating A & J Meats will become sole distributor of sea lion steaks and chops. page 17 Liquor Synthesized Chateau-Neuf '42 tastes plasticky, but it's $4 a drum! page 18 Music Who'd play Brahms on a kettle-drum? Who else! Christopher Reeve dazzles. page 20 Books on Tape Wilford Brimley dozes off 2 pages into Ulysses, just as you would. page 26 Pets Thanks to conscientious spaying/neutering, Seattle has wiped out Chihuahuas. page 33 Travel Slave labor still exists in Mali, producing an exquisite Gruyére cheese. page 40 Politics County Land Management Council creates reader boredom. page 47 Lawsuits Lonely Eastsiders masturbating with Rogaine cream are waking up to find that their foreskins have grown back; and they're not happy. page 49
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